A Place to Tell.

stories to share.

at 12:06 AM

I'm so stressed out. I feel lost. So much to study yet so little time. I'm freaking upset for my stupid decision in taking this particular subject. Why do I even bother to study it when I've no interest on it and most of all, it won't be affecting my career in the future. Sigh. I just gotta... get over with it now. well.

Anyways,

I just got my blood test report this morning. Another 'doctor surprise' I would say. hahaha. Overall is not bad. Only two major problem he mentioned. I was required to take another X-ray test actually, afraid that there's infection inside that caused that. But my mum insisted to not take it. Because it's going to kill off lots of my cell. So, well. My mum's my personal doctor now. And here comes all the liquid drinks. Eeeek.

Damn. I've been lazing around so much and not studying properly these days.

I need motivation.

at 11:11 PM

I finally went to the bone specialist today to check on my terrible joint pain recently. My appointment with the doctor was 1.30pm. but i waited there for, another hour. The moment I went in the room, I was surprised. Because my mum told me that he's an old man earlier. A young man opened the door instead. The first thing he said was, 'oooh, so young!' hahah. Well, too young to have joint pain maybe? hmm. I told him my condition, then he pressed on the painful part I mentioned. But, I didn't feel anything by then. So, he said. Come again tomorrow, and we'll take blood test for you. Just afraid something happened to your bones inside, which we couldn't see now. First thing that came to my mind, bloooooood test. oh shit. I didn't have thatt before anyway.

When I sick, I make noise. which is very very annoying. It annoys you so much that you might feel like just slapping me. I just want to release my pain. That's all. Yesterday was funny. Both my hands were so painful to a stage where I move, and I feel the pain. So basically, no movement is allowed. Then I waited and waited for my mum to bring me to a doctor. But instead of approaching a DOCTOR, she brought me to... a foot massage. By then, I finally know how bad is my current health. But the worst thing of all, my head. Yes, I do suffer from a freaking headache whenever I stand up from my sit few days ago. Hmm, I thought it was because of my sickness. Not till the master told me, blablabla. Out of all the painful part I felt on my foot, my toes are the most pitiful thing. that has caused me to walk so cacatly but not cacat today. hahah okay, dun have to understand that though.

But the saddest thing of all, my mum. After the massage, she has not been allowing me taking this and that, doing this and that andddddd ......... the list goes on. When I complain bout it, she says, for my good. I know. She's the one taking care of my everything when I'm not feeling well. The thing came on and off. and I only get fully recovered yesterday. I remember how I used to stink with all sorts of ubat she applied on me and the medicines I had. I just wanna say, thank you so much mummy. I love you.

I didn't manage to study at all actually. All I did was just, sleep. Because that's the only way to escape from the pain. Oh well, the terrible nights I have in the past two days. I shall let it be the past. and don't want to remember the pain anymore. One thing is, I don't want another third time. I had enough.

Blood test tomorrow. I'm freaking scared. :'S

at 10:39 AM

I dreamt of you and I last night. I'd one few weeks ago in fact. But that one, I woke up worrying, then I realized it was a dream. so I relieved. But this morning, I woke up feeling scared. The apologizes you've said, promises that you've made, I trust you. It's amazing how we actually tied to each other those days. Because it happened just like that, so out of my expectation. Now, I'm afraid the gap between us will go bigger. I just want us to stay close, like how we did. Sometimes, I thought of what exactly has brought us to now. But I don't exactly know. Somehow it happened. How nice if things never change.

at 4:40 PM

As usual, the same familiar faces came to school today. and almost half of the class was absent. The atmosphere was so... quiet and free from sound pollution. hahah.

Anyways,

I got a good news and a bad news today.

Good, because school finished at 3.30pm today! I should be having my extra moral class now. But, I'm home! :D

Bad, because we just got the latest news from teacher that our setara trial exam will start on the 2nd of sept. which is one day EARLIER. and the heavyheavyheavy subjects come first. pffft. I thought the government loves b.m. a lot? hahah.

Oh and according to my survey, science students would prefer to study at home rather than attending school. well well, so am I. So, I'll be taking one day off tomorrow. :) My back is freaking pain and %&@?!@#$ nowadays. urgh, damn annoying. Thanks to my wrong sitting/sleeping position. I'm in need of a body massage! oh god.

I think I need a cup of coffee/teh tarik every night. to keep me awake all time.

I shall blog again when I get bored of my books. TTFN!

at 11:51 PM

Well, nothing much to update actually for school this week. I had my everyday back home very...... tired. I barely have my eyes stay widely open in most of the lessons. I need to staple them i think? or like what adrian might need, a nail. HAHA. So, the whole week considered unproductive. I spent about 3 hours on my sleep every evening after school. And this resulted in spending my time lesser on book. I could even fell asleep while doing work. Wth. It's really frustrating but, I'm just so tired.

By the way, I've got my bronze award on wednesday. Wooh, finally? One thing that I regret is that, my parents didn't come during the ceremony. My achievement, right? Nah, its okay. :) I actually thought I could qualify for some other awards, but I didn't. Quite disappointed, but i think, I should just appreciate what I have with me now. That's enough. :)

And and, not to mention also, peng! She'd got quite a number of awards on her academic this year. You could see her on stage for so so soooo many times. I should have gone for commencement too!! Anyways, congrats girl! :D

July's gone, here comes August. 3 months to SPM, a month away to trial exams. And there goes my lovely september.

Shit. It's getting nearer.

Currently nineteen. Still figuring out about life, still have phobia on snakes. Favourite quotes: 'Dare to dream big, work them out by Z-A.' Know me better through my personal space here. :)