A Place to Tell.

stories to share.

at 8:25 PM

I did something wrong. and he decided to leave me. In a split of second, he's with another girl right at my sight. To my surprise, the girl is a friend of mine. Then we had lunch together as usual at the corridor in college. They were sitting opposite me. It hurts so bad when the girl he call as baby wasn't me, but her. It hurts so bad when she was the one in his hug, but not me. It hurts so bad when the hand he hold tightly with him wasn't mine, but hers. It hurts so bad when I see them walking hand in hand together while I'm left behind, walking alone. It hurts so bad when I know he don't love me anymore. Then, he drove off in her accompany. All I felt was, heartache.

I dreamt of this a couple of nights ago. A bad dream in fact. In the dream, I cried. My heart broken. It's like everything happened in a flash, without any exact reason. I just don't know why he did that. I was then awaked in shock all of sudden and realized it was just a dream. Was totally relieved that I actually awaked. Because I thought it's happening in reality. Then I looked at the time in my phone. It was 8 in the morning. The next thing I did was text him. And then he called. :)

Oh well. It's pretty weird that I had this stupid dream. On the next morning after the day? hahah just weird.

Because this will never happen. I know it by heart. ;)

at 10:26 PM

Sigh. My emotion has been turning upside down lately. Plenty things are running in and out of my mind. If you were to ask whether im fine, I would say no, i'm not. Seriously not. People change as they grow. Perhaps that's what I'm undergoing now? Whatever it is, I don't see this as a good changes. I don't feel good, I'm not comfortable with it. But the truth is, I'm changing. The emotional days do come once in awhile. That's why all I need now is time. Time for me to think all over again, then find a best way to solve them.

I was happily living in my own world in the past few weeks, as if everyone else is invisible. Until the scoldings hit me, I was awakened. It's like someone whacked me real hard on my back that I woke up from my fantasy world. And that's when I realized that I've changed. There were so many tiny little things that I let them slipped off just because I didn't pay much attention on them. What's more when it is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. I hate myself for my selfishness, for being not understanding, for not being there when my family needed me most. I was thinking back, why didn't I fight hard. Why did I give up easily after one try. But I couldn't find any answers to those questions. Seriously, I failed. Regrets is the only thing that fills me up now. fuckshit. I wish I have time machine.

I was browsing through the net the other day out of boredom and the pictures of events in high school caught my attention all of sudden. I miss the good old times in school. Friends, the laughters we shared together and the naiveness in us. Everything single memories I have during school days, I miss them. Back then, we don't have much problems to worry of. What we did were, study and enjoy school days. Now that we have left high school days and stepping into college life, everyone is moving on in their separate ways. I used to say, I don't have good best friends. But now I'm proud to say, I have my soul mates with me. 5 years aren't a short period. Of all the problems, arguments, misunderstandings that we had, I'm glad we've come through them and manage to maintain the tightly bonded friendship we have. I always believe that it's tougher to have a true best friend as we grow older. People tend to get more complicated and tricky isn't it? Unless we really met one. Then the story is entirely different. But most of the time, we don't. Friend and true friend do make huge differences between both. To my soul mates, just to let you guys know that I'm always here for any of you no matter what happens. Just a phone call away. ;)

As of today, I woke up at six in the morning and get myself ready to hike with bee in kepong. I haven't really sweat like mad since the semester started. In another words, I haven't carry out any exercises in the past 4 months. hahah :/ So yeah, as usual the place has trees all over the surrounding which makes the air so freshly breathed in with the smell of leaves~ as well as the sound of insects along the canopy walk which makes me feels good and last but not least, the sound of water tapping and flowing down the rock at the waterfall which makes my mind free from everything else. The environment do helped me to escape from the complicated world for a little while. I was in total relax mode. Well, haven't feel as free as this for quite some time. In conclusion, I feel healthy today! Thanks bee. ;)

End.

at 10:12 PM

My last presentation for this semester finally ended today. It feels so good that nothing could exactly describe my feelings right now. Its just, too fantastic to feel this way. Recently have been real crazy that my emotions gone up and down like a roller coaster ride. What else these craziness for if it wasn't the assignments and tests. College life isn't it? haha. but thank god it has come to an end for now. The very last thing to go through is the final exams, which starts this weekend. :/ Then, here comes our sem break and plans. It's just in about a week time. Let's get over it! teehee.

As of today, oral presentation is somehow the most fearful presentation among all. The voice-too-soft thing is always my first and biggest weakness. The next thing is I get nervous easily. And these will then lead to... wrecking moments. I wonder, why is the confident still failed to build up though I've gone through presentations for years. Speaking fright? haha should be la~ Overall, everything went smoothly.

Time to get stuck with notes. Till then.

Currently nineteen. Still figuring out about life, still have phobia on snakes. Favourite quotes: 'Dare to dream big, work them out by Z-A.' Know me better through my personal space here. :)